When I meet the right person, everything will be all right. This way of thinking creates trouble in our dating lives and sets us up for trouble in marriage. In this message, Andy challenges us to ask ourselves Am I the person the person I'm looking for is looking for? And he previews God's list of behaviors that will lead to success in dating and marriage.


Look around you. Rules are everywhere. And, generally, rules are set up to protect, to guide, and to help. It's no different for relationships. There are rules. Lots of them. But what if the rules are wrong? What if the rules are misleading? What if the rules are actually dangerous? In The New Rules For Love, Sex & Dating, Andy Stanley tells us why these new rules don't work, while telling us about the rules that do.

Discussion Questions

Think about some popular movies, TV shows, songs, and websites. Based on what you are seeing and reading, what are some current rules in our culture regarding love, sex, and dating? Which of them do you agree with? Disagree?

Andy says that he has never seen "a marriage problem." What does that mean?

What does "The present will be your past, but it will be present in your future" mean? How does it apply to dating? How have you seen this play out in your life?

What is the "right person myth"? Do you agree that it is a myth? How have you seen this way of thinking impact your relationships or those of your friends?

Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-5. In this passage, we find a list of qualities that are characteristic of the "right person." Which of these qualities is the most difficult for you to exhibit? Which quality do you value most in someone you want to date, your spouse, or significant other?

Moving Forward

Becoming the person who the person you are looking for is looking for is hard. But it is not as hard as getting married and being unprepared. Think about a couple of things you can do this week to become that person--the right person.

Changing Your Mind

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking . . . 1 Corinthians 13:4-5